WTF Moments (Part 3)

WTF Moments (Part 3)

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Lovers and Haters, we bring to you, the 10 Ultimate WTF Moments. The Top 5 is fresh and drops for the very first time. As you may guess, some of the names are fictitious but, we are sure you shall be able to place the characters in those particular episodes. (It’s not from my mouth that you’ll hear that the King’s mother died).
Anyway sha, for the sake of our security… me I’ve completed my transfer to Covenant University (best in Nigeria chilling), Ichie Aka Bobby has crossed the boarder to Houdegbe, other Ichies have since confirmed their studentship at LASU (Ichie McFab), Michael Okpara University (Ichie ad Ichie Mrs Joe Oyinkan), Adekunle Ajasin Uni, Akungba-Akoko (Ichie Yega)…others are still in transit. We have enjoyed the moments we spent with y’all. We love you…till we meet again.
You can do us no nothing now…
The finale of our 30 WTF Moments is our parting gift… so, here goes… Enjoy!
10. WORDS ON MARBLEI know of philosophers ,jurist,scientists, and other scholars,whose words will forever be remembered. These set of words might be statements of fact,personal opinions or simply statement made out of their enormous wisdom(Wise sayings). Most of dis sayings often have anonymous owners.An example is the popular saying…”a man who swallows a whole coconut, has complete faith in his anus.(my personal favorite)..That was starting to sound like contract class…*yawns*

Anyway, what I am saying is that,most of these statements of fact or wise sayings were made  b4 my Dad started walking as a toddler…But Glory to God!!!, last semester, I was chanced to see d making of one of these sayings live, Here it goes …
It was one calm and cool nite like dis,d serious ones were preparing for their exams while those of us on d  oda side who were jobless, as usual,were on the LL.B ’17 WhatsApp page…It all started with a frenzied atmosphere as Bro Odira was on his usual Mr Do-Good shii, he provoked d making of dis soon to b widely known saying when he openly sLandered d  use of lipsticks by gals…den came Aunty ANJOLA to d rescue… “Let no man with a WORKING PENIS ever inflict judgement on woman stuff” (Olukayode Anjola, 2015).#gbam#

Now,here is my problem with this saying,we are in Africa gal,Nigeria to b precise, u cannur just mention such heavy word like dat. She dinur even take permission??…It just landed like dat nd d effect on guys like me was like d bombing of Hiroshima nd Nagasaki. But lemme remind u, one of our elders from d south south once said, ” If a man dies, his manhood lives on”??…dat is to show u d sacredness  of DAT word.If  we were in d age of my great grandfathers dem,it would v taking u 21 days to appease d gods.
Ending dis,I can only recap a saying I grew up to know dat “no matter how proud a woman acts towards a man,she should remember dat either dat man or anoda, will one day stab her from under nd her connection with pride will be put asunder”…??

The idea of a social night has been so twisted that its purpose to me has been me, a social night goes beyond the rocking..drinking..smoking..I mean those are fun sha..but its all about the bonding to me. Like a Proper social night to me would av been the congress night..if u attended it, it was craaaazy..there was everything in the right proportion. We drank, we partied, alcohol talks flowed, people expressed love to their secret crushes, there were near-fights…it was crazy!.my idea of a perfect social night. Doesnt matter if it was done in U&I or in the faculty car park, but give us a mix of the above…like upgrade last session’s ‘jazz night’ and we would have us a perfect social night..if ya going to be giving us the club ish..then maybe leave it at ‘Lex Groove’ and dont give us high hopes by calling it social night??.bert I don go far field sha..make the next social secretary gimme S.A appointment..we wee discuss salary matter later??Lemme nur even start about last session’s Lex Groove which I only attended for 45mins…Yega it was a disaster!?? The 100lv Lex Groove was not without its moments sha..from our amazing atilogu dancers who we av already talked about en the couple who just sat in one corner taking stock of how many people smoked pots and to kcent’s episode..i mean my nigga was dancing front to front with Sister Ayo Omoloye ni seems ‘Aye’ knows how to unleash the devil in a woman. Cos when it started to play, Ayo just turned and gave kcent the backpack completely??…u know what am talking about na..that extension somtin wey cause go slow for UI gate on one fateful day bayii…cab men just dey misdrive as them see her dey bounce the thing go for front….well..immediately she gave kcent the whole kit and caboodle…instead of our man to move closer and cup a feel of it….nope…instead Nigga Kcent puts his hands on his head..and turns to face the wall..he was like ‘oluwa’eleyi o wa poju bayii?? ‘….am sure the song that was playing in his own head was ‘eleda mi mo di e mu????’…however..
this isnt our destination??
Our true WTF moment came with CHISOM’s package thruout that night…hmm..people…am sure many people came to that party and had chisom on their list of 3people who they would like to rock…but that was not to be as Madam Chisom herself started bouncing people out one by one…that day was not funny o…strutting her stuff in front of that small mirror in GQ,.anyone.who came close to dance…she would say she wants to watch the way her body moves when she is dancing abi moving abi twerking deh ni…hmm…av never seen twerking look that sad..I think there was even a pole around the place where she was dancing..donno if she used it sha..cos a nigga was a bit high that night sha
All good tho…maybe she was waiting for them Ibo republicans to arrive before she danced with anyone..cos she was asking of ‘dem wisdom dem’ shortly befor the party began..but then..when the biafran brothers came nkor…Edward only got 30secs with her…while a certain sir Wizzy was sipping juice jejely in the corner while observing the whole event.
Well…as my investigative mood the spirit told me to trace the direction her swaying behind was facing…and I sha noticed it was pointing 80 degrees northward..the same place my humble sef was sipping my small beer..i sha tried hard to .seem not too interested in her hardwork…hmmmm…am shaa not suggesting anything sha emi ke…..altho I know she stopped immediately i finished my bottles of beer..and left the table..??????…2+2 is still 4..????

It’s a good feeling being a law student, u are chanced to sparkle in ur dazzling white and black or an all black attire.People see law students outside d faculty and envy their outfits without knowing d pain they go thru,I mean ,we go thru (almost forgot am a law student) 2 produce d fine sontin they see.Now lemme shift to our focus here…our ladies abi our gals deh ni??.Anyhow sha,they v tried,azzin,they are trying ehn.Combining accessories nd extras that will match d white nd black sontin is like a war,in fact,it is a war. Thanks to ppl like d Ichies, dey seem to b winning d war…Constructive criticism by d Ichies from dat of Philippa, to Deedee’s epic combing experience seem to be helping….But as they say, u can’t win all in wars…each party has to share in d ruins…Dis brings me to the main subject matter, Sister Agape,remember her?…yea…d wrapper

Well,while d Ichies were jejely sitting around d table to find a way round d wrapper sontin, she fall our hand patapata…She came to class with charcoal on her lips abi black lip gloss deh ni…D tin was sha black.Made me remember d costume of d  witches in DAT nollywood film,Egg of life.I Could not even look at her face .I dreamt of witches all thru DAT night nd was so scared…I tie wan sue her for an action in tort gan, (oya Mujib,which tort action is suitable for charging a person hu instills fear in u?)Am sure dat lipstick is not from dis century…D “make up Icon” obviously got it wrong dis time.

We love it when u bring creativity into looking good,but wen u smear grinded charcoal(not jxt charcoal, but d type used in Enugu coal mines) on ur lips,mba,we don’t want.We r no longer in d primitive age…It’s d 21st century.Wake up gal?.We are in a war,d unit u r commanding is making us loose….pleeease, biko, we don’t want to lose…

We have learnt so much from history. Government, Politics, Economy, Civilization, Education, Entertainment, Fashion. One which particularly interests me is the evolution of Fashion, especially in Nigeria. I used to know of  this kind of black liquid substance that you dip a stick (or whatever it was) in and you run through your eyelids. Our great grandmother and their children started with that..for decades. They used it for some of y?all as toddlers seff. Even Queen Elizabeth (our very own mama Charley) used it when she visited Nigeria shortly before independence. I laugh am ehn! Some people still use it today. I don?t blame them. Not all of us lost our roots. We all can?t forsake tradition. Jenifa repped it seff…
In this age, however, Nothing Was The Same??… I want to believe that one of the most lucrative businesses these days is make-up artistry. It has gone beyond the ages of usual rubbing of pancake and mascara that we grew up to know. Lipsticks completed the equation. Everyone could do that themselves. The more fashionable ones relied on those eye pencils dem…and they were even reserved for the best of occasions. For years, the formula never changed. Then Mary Kay happened. The revolution began… What did our mothers, in their prime, know about all these yeye eye shadows, foundation and errm…you all know those things na. It has become so mainstream that many ladies? most treasured possessions are their make-up kits. We sha started to different kinds of variables that were being introduced into the equation. All those ones that were alien to our culture and tradition. Almost every lady is a make-up artiste in her own right…
This story is set in the University. An institution that was designed to be a modest centre of academic pursuit. Interestingly or sadly, it has become an exhibition home of some sort… Everyone, consciously or unconsciously, trying to outdo the other in the art of making themselves up. We have become so used to the usual sights, until…
*Chapter two is torn* Our writers are trying to recover it. Please stay tuned.
Chapter 3 begins…
So…another law exam day…smoke everywhere… the heat being generated from the heads of y?all was beyond comprehension. Me just dey as usual, dey observe. I couldn?t see no one?s face. Three hours went by uneventful…but I sighted one of the senior girls that was taking the course too. She was sweating profusely. She was not any shade of beautiful, so I paid no further attention. I was so full of pity. She was probably too busy reading for her other courses. Then came the end of the exam, everyone on their feet awaiting their turn to submit. I took one last look at the girl, she seemed so unfamiliar still. She couldn?t be new in the faculty. She was retaking the course, of course…just then, someone calls ?Prisca??…it dawned! WTF!!! ??Our ever-fresh faced D.E girl looking like a seven-day old Igbo widow.?? The 90 degrees NiKE eyebrows were nowhere to be found, the layers and layers of paint..emulsion enough to paint a duplex were absent, even the lips celebrated their freedom??. Her complexion was a combination of burnt dodo, seed of unripe mango, burnt foam, yellowish-brown (tan) and chemically-treated white rat skin. Pale and burnt skin. In all honesty, I was beyond shocked??
The night before, she had made her way into our most-revered list of the Most Beautiful. Hers was a face made for the magazine covers… We were wrong. It got me thinking tho. Did Awo Hall catch fire??? Hadn?t made the news yet. Did she run out of make-up stock??? Not our budding make-up entrepreneur. Did the Faculty place an embargo on masks??? Yega nor the Faculty Officer has communicated that to us. Did the pressure of exams get to her? Not her first. It remains an unravelled mystery.
I sha still heard Bisi and Korede discussing why they didn?t see Madam Prisca  in the exam hall.?? Fellow Awoites at that. It only confirms legends that have it that mama P makes up to bed. In her defence, I believe you can meet your better half anywhere. God, indeed works in mysterious ways  We often pray to God to show us our destined path. But no Prophet needs to tell our future award-winning Nollywood costumier and make-up artiste that Theatre Arts Dept is still admitting en masse. She only needs to put up an appearance. The Council appreciates her immense talent, hence, our solemn piece of advice.The Yorubas do say that “God that wee catch somebody will not chase the person”.
She certainly thought the output would be like Amber Rose without makeup. Ezinne baby..we are counting on u .
More pancake to your face!

(shebi you now know who…*winks*)
6. TEMPTATIONS- CONFESSIONS OF A PRINCIPLED MANGES 104 was a complete fail! I hope someone petitions GSP soon. It was mental torture for most Law students…except all those ones that jumped from Science class in Secondary school. It beats me. Why exactly did we take it? How many of those rubbish geological and chemical terms can you remember? What did I gain on the long run? Can I now mix chemicals? They just taught us Gold and all those jargons…If you didn?t teach me how to explore mines, how do I find all the gold? The most annoying part…I can?t even make a bomb! What was now the need…after I completed that rubbish of a textbook twice! And in the end, they brought questions from only 3 chapters… I think that?s messed up tho.
That?s by the way, anyway. It has come and gone. I attended a number classes, including the one we joined at Social Sciences LLT. ??As if the boredom wouldn’t be torturous enough, they had to bring the whole Faculty of Education to join…Which I think is messed up too. If INEC were wise enough to share PVCs at the University, they would have shared 50% of Ibadan?s own the day we wrote test. The Education people were always glad to be around. Taking a lecture at the Faculty of Law LLT was no mean feat. They stayed tripping…and their ladies too always tried to look presentable for the visit (even the nursing mothers)…
So what has provoked my anger again this time? I know y?all law students try to show off and all. Entering the class through the front door when class is on…but what I do NOT appreciate is having our girls dem trying to look good for our brothers from Education.?? Everything stays cool until then…Come on! I’m not trying to indict y?all but our sister in question is never far away from the news…from one headline to another.

This very day, I don’t know what Jessica (not real name, fix appropriately) was looking for in the class at 6:30pm…in company of her better-half and the third one that completes the occasional tripod. Like WTF is this babe up to again??? I will vex ooo. To call the SINGLET she was putting on revealing, will be painting it mildly. It could barely contain 70% of all she carried in front…and those too were swinging melodiously to the rhythm as Sisi Ologe ascended the steps. The class came to a complete standstill. Even the lecturer acknowledged the grand…and unfortunate entry. All those mumu education boys too were now whistling and bleating like goats (a thousand apologies to those of you with Education BFs). I don?t want to believe her market was running dry and she needed a new catchment area. The advertisement was too grand for the audience na. I mean…It was some runway kind shii. The part that will now irritate me most…She paraded the whole fucking LLT to find a seat…

But at the end, I reasoned with her, we dey near 1,000 for that class…there wouldn’t be a better opportunity. I guess her market was still booming during our CBN days…
My darling Jessica…she knows how to be famous like that… But that’s being infamous if you ask me, BUT IT’S NONE OF MY BUSINESS…
Jessy aye, our most popular female chilling…Congrats on the award, once again.

5. MYSTERY NIGGA AND THE LOST TAPESLol…now I fucking know what it feels like to be a journalist. Before I continue, I wantu use this opportunity to say that human beings are like water. We dont know where we’ll all flow to.I pray we are still one body of water..that will flow infinitely together, making waves in various spheres of life and not like omi okun and omi osa that will be repelling each oda when we that shii even true?.??
That being said…some of us wee just be tighting the world to our shest ontop small matter like this?? ..well I know we all make mistakes…and I wont classify any of the 25 wtf moments as such..neither would I classify this and any of the upcoming 4 as mistakes..cos they have really served their purpose. To entertain yall…inform…advise and yea..reprimand some using extremely pumped up situations…some not pumped up sha.. this wan for instance??…and I say again..we are indeed sorry if we got on ur wrong side..but that wan no mean say make we no finish am???. But I don go far off field sha

I was talking about mistakes..and it is said that the hallmark of a great man or woman is not in not making mistakes..but in taking responsibility for those mistakes…I mean..everyone makes mistakes sha…i am guilty of a few..Heck, even God made a mistake when he created Eve and put her in the garden of Eden but he took responsibility for it in the book of Gen 53:33??..hallelujah somborri.

Let me even bring it down to the group..some of us have made mistakes..Madam Scholastica had on one occasion sent 10 voicenotes to the group and  came out to acknowledge her mistake…Remember when Uncle Damola A.K.A Calderon went to Yankee and mistakenly sent 4picshurs of him chilling in front of white house ni Oyingbo..he came out to claim responsibility and some of us let it slide while others went to privatechat him for american chocolate??
Well..others avent shared that philosophy??…remember when (our Maryam’s Hostel’s) Aunt CHINENYE sent a video to the group??…u know that video na where there was a ‘room…moving bedsheets…a man…t.v…and a moan…abi two moans pere?’….that got us all talking and giving suggestion as to what activity could bring all those together in one place…well I thot it was a nigga smoking weed..and playing with a lil vaseline…hence the moan..’hmm’..this some good shii’…
We were all still trying to piece it all together…when Sister CHi chi came o…’you all should stop behaving like think I would tape myself having sex and send to the group?’ Sex? Did she say sex?…who said anything about sex?..I took a quick look at the video..heard the moans again…and was like…now that makes sense??…she continued ‘i have never seen the video in my life and I donno who sent such to the group. But it wasnt from my fone..thank you ‘hol’up!’ *in kevin Hart’s voice* first of all..u aint gon speed past that like u dint say what u just said…them vids wasn’t from ur fone?..shii…well…am nur saying she was lying tho…cos endless possibilities abound..but I av since written to Whatsapp inc. Calling them to look into instances where messages clash online..and wrong messages are sent thru the wrong persons…

plix…when ya reading this..make sure Drake..Or Ed Sheeran..or the Heterosexual part of Sam Fucking Smith is on ur headphones, admonishing you intently.
Please ????stay with me?? as I take u on the solemn journey of these two lovers…lemme keep the brief, romantic stint as short and as sweet??… was love..and I felt it flow between them two..and occasionally I still feel it flow btw em when their eyes meet in class…eyes which speak words that they both try so hard to refrain their mouths from saying..??…genuine love, ladies and gentlemen.She wasnt always in our class…and when I first saw her…she struck me as this quiet, pretty girl who loved to keep to herself..not like all those other D.E people dem dem that were just jumping up and down even pass us wey be landlord sef??…Olorun oba n gbo..I almost crushed sha…if not that Paula already had my heart.??…hers was the type of girl who had a world’s load of fun locked up within..which would only be expressed or activated with the right person…me I know how to scrutinise na??…and if I wasnt too accurate with her…it wouldnt be such a wild miss.

Well..I wasn’t the only one who was doing the scrutiny..ashey Omo mi kan was doing proper follow-up after he discovered what I discovered too..and it wasn’t for long..e dinur tie reach one month before I started hearing news flying by my ears about the gold I had not yet finished unearthing, being in one other miner’s vault..hmm…pleasant news it was…cos the miner was a confam person of mine..a man of his words..perfect gentleman..someone I could trust with the heart of ScarJo, my most loved cousin? I prolly was fun!..sharply she don extrovert cos the nigga was obviously the right nigga??.They loved each other..and the class loved em together too..UItes adored em..cos e no dey tey beforr them deliver all those salvador and Isabel kisses for front of Love garden…abi front of Queens..abi its inside Klazz…name it…Legend has it that one time they kissed inside front of speaker..while we still dey reason to impeach some excos…such daring show of love was the stuff for Telemundo???.

(now playing. ‘Say something’ A great big world ft Christina Aguilera) *whips out hanky* *wipes tears* *blows nose*….this is emotional for me??..pat my back please…yea..right there.thanks…like why the fuck do people part ways when the going is at its best??…I only woke up one morning…and my first ping bore me the  unpleasant news of their breakup. Which sorta made me sad cos y’all seemed so ichies were already choosing turquoise blue and gold ankara for the wedding in 5yrs.??..real talk tho. we love Telemundo and we were loving fans of u both.??
But don’t they say all good things must come to an end…it’s often a very sad truth. So this particular day that I’m saying. They were still suffering from the hangover of the break-up…Class was over…our football jerseys just landed from Canada and guys were chilling in the moment until… I was entering the LLT and I saw the ex-lovers tearing at each other…really going deep…! Omo…dem no mind my presence ooo…in my 5 seconds around, I sha heard “Don’t ever in you life…”, “I deserve some respect”, “I respect you…”, “we don’t have to be childish about this…”, “listen to me”, “I have warned you!” said amidst teary eyes. I don’t know who said what sha but, I was indeed moved by the power of love. UN sha sent a Peace-making delegate consisting Cynthia, Ewere, Dammy dem dem to put a momentary stop to the crisis…Still beats me tho…but please..y’all come back together??..

(*Now playing* Two Wrongs- Wyclef ft Claudette Ortiz)??

Reach in there guys..there’s still some love in there somewhere..rekindle matter what happend,except they are giving us bobo, love sha conquers all..if yu both reading this,you know we talking to her/him and meet up at love garden or heritage when we resume??..makeout and makeup..anything..anywhere..just come back.?? we cant gwan return our ankara after we av bought it…abii..elders cannur be in the market and small child wee suffer broken neck.

3. SLEEPING BEAUTYI offered Further Mathematics in Secondary School…just to chill with my niggas in class back then…SS 2 third term F/Maths Exam sha, the questions weren?t even written in any language I understood. Within one and a half hours, I visited the toilet four times. I developed headache seff join. As soon as one invigilator suggested Sick Bay like this, I didn?t need a second invitation. To the glory of God, that was the day I dropped the subject.

Generally, I think exam is just a bitch! I think it should come in on the top 3 of the world?s worst inventions. I mean…what is the need? We sha always misplace priorities in this world. The mumu oyinbo and people that know that there?s something like IQ will still come and give everybody the same questions in exam. It is already in my manifesto on educational reforms for the 2039 Presidential Elections sha, to scrap exams for good. Let me use this opportunity to declare my presidential ambition. I told you first ooh. Don?t sly abeg.

Now that we have all agreed that exams cause more harm than good, we bring to you, one of the mind-blowing moments of exams using Law exams as case study. Three hours to answer four questions. For years, I have always heard of how crazy law exams were and how time is never enough. The story has not changed and I doubt it ever will…until I become President, oscof. But you law students seff have wahala. If they give you people 5 hours, the thing no go still do you. The three hours gan is too much for me. Shey they didn?t teach y?all summary in secondary school ni? How do people manage to exhaust 20 pages and still collect double extra sheets? Even if I?m copying note, 20 pages is for one whole day!

However, in the face of the almighty law exams, we still find brave people who display exceptional and tremendous acts of  fuckery. Our protagonist and heroine is none other than Sister TITI JEGZ…our beautiful transfer student. For some, it is piriton, ambien, lunesta dem dem, for me, it was contract textbook but for Sisi TITI, the most potent sleeping pills are law exams. If you have never noticed sha, because our diva always finds seats at the rear ends of the LLT, Sisi Titi is reputed for taking frequent naps during law exams. The thing dinnur even pain me at first until Contract. Barely 20 minutes into the exam, Miss Jegz gradually bent her head towards the table and drifted into her first bout f nap…sleep gan. 5 minutes…10…15! Jisox! Really??? WTF? The god of law exams must be her ancestor. Truly truly, the Yorubas that say “Oorun baje” meaning “sleep is disrespectful” are not far from the truth. I know law exams have a thing for deflating somebody’s pride but I don’t support conceding defeat publicly.

Trust us not to always judge or jump into conclusions, our investigations further revealed that our lady has a knack for sleeping during exams generally and is never shy to admit it. As my true homie that she is, I always got her back, anytime… I believe she takes revision naps. It is unconventional but very daring…and cute (because she’s a fine girl ni o). Even Dalai Lama has said it all that… “Sleep is the best meditation”

“The serpent, the king, the tiger, the stinging wasp, the small child, the dog owned by other people, and the fool: these seven ought not to be awakened from sleep” – Chanakya. Now there’s an eighth, the Sisi Titi in a law exam.
We never mind the sight of you sleeping tho…at least, you don’t snore.

2. ALADA V. BARRYJAY&SONS CO. LTD (2014) PT. 1 NWLR PG242 –  A LOCUS CLASSICUSJust to remind us, one of the major differences between a company and a public corporation is the perpetual existence that abounds in the latter which is absent in d former. Therefore, if there arises an event of winding up of any company in my story, please note, they were never meant to last forever. Moving to our major concern, I once had these hatred towards that popularly saying, ?What a man can do, a woman can do better?. Apologies to our ladies, but I just didn?t believe the truth in it.However, after witnessing this particular incident, there has been a reversal of that belief. I was left with no other option but to believe in the concept of woman power.

Our elders say, a man who celebrates his freedom from a woman after 9 months of captivity before birth, should also remember that after wandering for years, he will still end up being enslaved between the two thighs of a woman forever?. Now to my story, two heads they say, are better than one, but to every general rule, there is always an exception(One thing my two years as a law student has taught me. Mr A—- had divided the class into groups and had given each group its own assignment. He was unaware that he was about to start a war. Miss Dami Alada was the leader of one of the groups which included Barry J & sons ltd ????(a registered company under the Companies and Allied Matters Act, constituted by Barry J himself, Dami Akinsanya and Dada Emmanuel).

As busy people now.., they came late to the group meeting that very day and Dami tried to express her disappointment mildly. Barry J brought wahala on top himself when he attempted to reply her and?#gbam#…that was d last time Barry J spoke throughout that day.Dami went on and on?and I could only watch and sympathize with a fallen brother. ?? The company was now in debts for d deeds of Barry J, but was still using extra resources to run their affairs…Then, Akinsaya decided to throw all their resources into the on-going crisis, when he addressed Alada, ?who do u think u are??…#lobatan#?wrong business move?  Alada finish party for there and instantly, the company went *MOUTHRUPT,*WORDSRUPT,MOTIONRUPT nd any other rupt possible????????

I said earlier that Mr A—- started a war, but on a second thought, that incident was too one sided to be called a war?? it was complete bullying? Dami made me realize that u don?t need muscles before you can bully three grown men. Hmmm? #woman power#??…Anyway u might b wondering about what happened to the company…Well? I talked about perpetual existence earlier, so u should know d company?s current condition?Thumbs up to Dami, but remember ,Every day is for the thief, 1 day is for d owner?D God that will catch a person,will allow the person run first.

This is the moment we have been waiting for… It took quite a while deciding which moment tops our list…I’m sure you guys must be wondering which could possibly be better than all those…29! Our Panel sat carefully to decide and ultimately, Contract, again, does the magic. One epic last time. It gives me great pleasure to be at you service on this one.Picture a typical Bollywood movie ehn, Ranjit and Ranjha on a busy Mumbai street dancing (as usual) and then, the road metamorphosis into a big lush green garden…*hair blowing* *long stares* *musical interchange*…you know the rest na. Exactly!*… another hit produced!
This WTF moment is definitely one for the big screens too… Law Class of ’17 Box Office Productions in conjunction with LPB 202 presents “WHAT CONTRACT HAS JOINED TOGETHER…”.

“Lights! Cameras! Action!” No time, let?s just skip to the climax. Our dear brethren in a public display of affection…to a 150+ audience! Bro Kolade romantically fondling the ear of Pastor Ben in class! I mean! Come on! WTF???!!! Na like joke the thing start o. Minutes passed…baba no stop. Ben gan must have been enjoying the sontin because the Oga no shake.Like we have not heard and had enough with the Bro Amos issue. These ones too had to reignite the fire. So engrossed with each other and oblivious of the environment even while half the class was enjoying a good laugh. *Awwwww* Such romantic and lovely sight to behold. (*So quiiiiiit). They seemed so in love. It got me wondering tho. I never knew one of Contract?s many side effects included inducing love and affection.
There and then, I reconsidered my stance on the gay marriage something. True true, what happened to fundamental rights?

Should you get horny next time ehn, abeg get a room, lovebirds!

So there you have it…our 30 WTF Moments…my classmates are badt like that!!!
There were, however, some moments that failed to make our final cut…we shall be publishing those subsequently. (A particular brother that cooked and took food to a sister in Queens…abi the one that our badman was at KFC expressing love…or is it the cooperate bambi Allah man that duped us and the Ekiti parapo photo). What will the eyes not see finish?
…and thanks, I’m enjoying my new school. Same for others.

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